Safa means tranquil, serene, calm…I try

I know David Beckham has become the poster child of the modern metrosexual. Well, I really shouldn’t say “modern” because this term was never not modern. Here’s my confusion:

I met a man and his teenaged daughter a couple of weeks ago. When we were introduced I made the following mental note, “wow, an openly gay man with full custody of his daughter” I assumed that like so many other gay men, he came out after years of being married, having children, and growing tired of living a lie. You may be wondering what led me to assume he was gay in the first place. Well, (and I know I am about to name all of the traditional stereotypes of gay black men) he was dressed impeccably, had very pronounced “gay speak” (read lisp/teeth sucking), had an earring in his ear (I know this is pushing it since it’s not a gay thing anymore), had very glossy, thick and puckered lips with cocoa buttered skin, and showed much “tude”. Keep in mind I work in DC aka Chocolate City which is notorious for having a high concentration of gay black men. I thought he was a very nice guy.

A week later I met his wife. I met her absent him so I really didn’t see how matched as a couple they looked. I was just tripping over the fact that he was married! Now comes my real confusion.

A few days ago I spent time with the both of them. Again, he was dressed to the nines…clean! She was a little tore down. Her weave was awful…I mean scraggley, new-growth, etc. She was dressed sloppy and her clothes were wrinkled and homely. This would not matter to me at all except that to see them together I didn’t see how she could even feel comfortable being with him looking as she did. His wardrobe was Nordstroms and her’s was Walmart! SOMETHING WASN’T RIGHT! Then the ultimate confusion:

He was obviously wearing black eyeliner!!! If that wasn’t enough, I noticed that he had one tatoo on each hand (the space between his thumb and index finger). They were of those drama figures. You know the masks that I guess signifies comedy and tragedy? One hand had the comedy symbol and the other had the tragedy symbol. Crazy I know. Even crazier:

During the course of the conversation, he says he has not one, but 3 daughters (one in college). He’s young - graduated HS in 1988. The wife has a daughter and they have NO CHILDREN TOGETHER. I think they’ve been married for at least 6 years.

Now, the intention of this post is not to stereotype black gay men or rag on less than fashionable women. However, I left our meeting feeling completely confused. I am aware of the metrosexual. Dated a few before I was muslim and married. I had a boyfriend who frequently got manicures (w/ clear polish I might add), pedicures, massages, etc. That’s not the issue. I guess I…I don’t know. What is up with the eyeliner?????

People, please read this post in a way that you can get the whole picture and tell me what you think is going on with this couple? Believe me, something is going on. Do they have an arrangement? They appeared to be very comfortable with one another and had fun. It is none of my business, I am being judgemental and juvenile, but I am still confused!

No, not the spin-off from this ! I’m writing about what’ s happening in my world right about now. The most significant thing going on right now is that this is the month of Ramadan, the holy month of fasting in the islamic religion. We are going into the 8th day now. It is going well so far thank God. It gets easier and easier (the fasting) with each passing day. Of course, some days are easier than others! No food OR water between sun-up and sun-down. A lot of people think we are able to drink water…NOT. If you don’t drink plenty of water during your suhoor (breakfast before sunrise) then this is pretty much you for the rest of the day:)

When my step-daughter was around 7, she called suhoor “night time breakfast in the morning time” because it is still dark. That was cute.

I saw something really peculiar a few weeks ago. I took the kids to Applebees and there was a group of 2 guys and a girl ( no pizza place) sitting at the booth across from us. They all seemed pretty relaxed and familiar with one another. They ordered buffalo wings and when I looked up, the girl was eating one with a knife and fork. How weird is that? Remember when Elaine started eating her Snicker Bar this way on Seinfeld? It was like that. Who does that anyway?

Last month I went into the restroom at work. It was soooo funktified in there! I started saying out loud, “uggghhhhh, gross, people need to wait until they get home for this”. Of course I assumed I was alone. I almost passed out when a co-worker came out of the last stall a minute later. First of all, what happened to being embarrased when someone walks in and your in the middle of handling your business? She just proudly walks out and says hi!!! The funniest thing is that as she left, another co-worker walks in. I did something I rarely do (if ever)…I disowned it. I say, “wasn’t me” and walk out. I’m sure that person now believes to her core that it was me! How can I face either of them again???

Remember him? That’s my wonderful 3 year-old son with a name that means beautiful. He eats his boogers. I have to come to grips with this fact. Not only is he the booger boy, but he proudly owns this! Now, I’ve noticed that he partakes of this childhood delicacy for some weeks now. However, I usually let it go with a mild admonition. Well, today I told him that it was gross and inappropriate. I told him he needed to get a tissue - that big boys don’t do this. You know what he told me? His exact words…typed above a 3 year old’s speech pattern of course were, “I like eating my boogies, they’re good, I’m the booger man”. Let’s all pray that he outgrows this before it’s too late. Hey, don’t judge us. Apparently this is a huge phenomenon.
See, check this out.

That’s a little recap of what’s been going on in my world lately. Nothing exciting or profound but…