Safa means tranquil, serene, calm…I try

I know David Beckham has become the poster child of the modern metrosexual. Well, I really shouldn’t say “modern” because this term was never not modern. Here’s my confusion:

I met a man and his teenaged daughter a couple of weeks ago. When we were introduced I made the following mental note, “wow, an openly gay man with full custody of his daughter” I assumed that like so many other gay men, he came out after years of being married, having children, and growing tired of living a lie. You may be wondering what led me to assume he was gay in the first place. Well, (and I know I am about to name all of the traditional stereotypes of gay black men) he was dressed impeccably, had very pronounced “gay speak” (read lisp/teeth sucking), had an earring in his ear (I know this is pushing it since it’s not a gay thing anymore), had very glossy, thick and puckered lips with cocoa buttered skin, and showed much “tude”. Keep in mind I work in DC aka Chocolate City which is notorious for having a high concentration of gay black men. I thought he was a very nice guy.

A week later I met his wife. I met her absent him so I really didn’t see how matched as a couple they looked. I was just tripping over the fact that he was married! Now comes my real confusion.

A few days ago I spent time with the both of them. Again, he was dressed to the nines…clean! She was a little tore down. Her weave was awful…I mean scraggley, new-growth, etc. She was dressed sloppy and her clothes were wrinkled and homely. This would not matter to me at all except that to see them together I didn’t see how she could even feel comfortable being with him looking as she did. His wardrobe was Nordstroms and her’s was Walmart! SOMETHING WASN’T RIGHT! Then the ultimate confusion:

He was obviously wearing black eyeliner!!! If that wasn’t enough, I noticed that he had one tatoo on each hand (the space between his thumb and index finger). They were of those drama figures. You know the masks that I guess signifies comedy and tragedy? One hand had the comedy symbol and the other had the tragedy symbol. Crazy I know. Even crazier:

During the course of the conversation, he says he has not one, but 3 daughters (one in college). He’s young - graduated HS in 1988. The wife has a daughter and they have NO CHILDREN TOGETHER. I think they’ve been married for at least 6 years.

Now, the intention of this post is not to stereotype black gay men or rag on less than fashionable women. However, I left our meeting feeling completely confused. I am aware of the metrosexual. Dated a few before I was muslim and married. I had a boyfriend who frequently got manicures (w/ clear polish I might add), pedicures, massages, etc. That’s not the issue. I guess I…I don’t know. What is up with the eyeliner?????

People, please read this post in a way that you can get the whole picture and tell me what you think is going on with this couple? Believe me, something is going on. Do they have an arrangement? They appeared to be very comfortable with one another and had fun. It is none of my business, I am being judgemental and juvenile, but I am still confused!