Safa means tranquil, serene, calm…I try

Woe is me. Before my husband went on travel, I was dreading having to take care of everything around the house. He’ll be gone for almost a month and, well, garbage…cat care, etc…not looking forward to it. Since I’m preggers I don’t deal with the cat at all. However, with hubby out of the country and my step-girls with their mother on weekends and breaks…

Well, anyway, a family friend invited my son to her house to spend the night. She lives right up the street and her granddaugter (also 3) is there. Although he has only spent one night in his entire life away from me, I said OK…real fast. I pictured it…me all alone at home, all day. See, I’ve taken a few days off from work this week..well I’ve elected to “work from home”. Girls are with their mother and one night away from son during the week. Puh-leeze! He was sooooo excited and had been asking to sleep over there for months. This was Thursday morning (did I mention she is his daycare provider and basically offered to keep him the regular day on Thursday, overnight, and I wouldn’t have to pick him up until my regular after-work time on Friday?). Fast-forward to Thursday night… First off, I’d steeled myself for the fact that he probably would be whiny and asking me to come get him. So although this was a dream come true, I expected and prepared for the inevitable. Ok, fast-forward now…

I called over there to see how he was doing since I didn’t pick him up at 6. He was so animated and took forever to get to the phone. He said he had a good day and was playing with Yasmeen. I reminded him that he was having a sleep-over and he said (in an annoyed, preoccupied kinda way), “I know mommy you packed my bag”. So I asked him if he still wanted to stay over there and he said yes. We exchanged ” I love yous” and before I could say anything else….he said he wanted to hang up now. I said ok and was about to say bye when I heard “clickum”…he was gone and I was all alone…….crickets…..crickets…..and more crickets.

Since hubby got rid of our t.v. (a whole other blog), I was wandering around the house like a confused dummy. I went to Borders and purchased a few books (Stephen King’s The Long Walk, Wally Lamb’s She’s Come Undone and a couple by Bernice McFadden). I read all night and was grateful that I didn’t have to go through the nighttime routine for my son…or wake up to put him on the toilet. At bedtime I smiled at the thought of actually sleeping through the night.

The first sign of trouble was when I put his night light on even though he wasn’t there. I can’t remember what I told myself to justify this. Wow, it’s 1:30am and I can sleep until 10 and STILL have my whole day to myself.

Reality of my night/day of nirvana? I woke frequently through-out the night, woke at 8, lay around all day reading (which was cool), and eating like crazy (not so cool). Most of all, I wondered why the phone never rung with 1. Son asking to come home 2. Them asking me to pick him up cause he peed the bed and wanted to go home 3. him saying i love and miss you.

When I finally picked him up at 6pm, I thought he would fly in my arms and shower with me kisses and hugs. He was happy, hugged and kissed me…but returned to playing and didn’t want to put on his shoes and coat. When I had the feeling I was about to turn into a jilted lover begging for one more chance, my friend says, “he JUST asked about you, he missed you and wanted to know when you were coming to get him”. Yeah, yeah.

Oh well, I always complain about needing time to myself and look what I do when I get it???? Man, I didn’t even remember to install the chandelier to swing from!!!