SLEEP WOES…so tired
Nothing major to post about. My almost 4 year-old has been a regular visitor to our bed in the middle of the night. He squeezes in between us and falls asleep. However, not that smoothly. He wants to talk, whine, go to bathroom, blow his nose, etc…and then still manages to pee in our bed.
We find nothing wrong with the “family bed”. He nursed until he 26 months and slept in our bed, then room a fews after that. Anyway, this always occured occasionally - now it’s EVERY NIGHT. This has been going on this way for about 1 and a half months or so. Before I was pregnant, I used to carry him back down to his bed, sit in there for 5-10 minutes, then go back to bed. Now I am too tired and sleepy to do it…I think he knows it too. My husband can sleep through a bullhorn being used 1 inch from his head so he’s no help.
I lie in bed at night waiting for the creak of my door to open at 2-3am. He says he’s scared to sleep by himself…he has a night-light AND we keep his door cracked AND he sleeps right across from my stepdaughters room. I’ve considered the baby coming may have something to do with this but I am soooo tired. He got out of his bed 3 times overnight. I happened to be up and escorted him to bathroom, and back to his room. He fell back to sleep. Then an hour later, at 3am he came out the crying that he was scared to sleep by himself.
I need help…I don’t want to tell him that this routine has to stop when baby comes. I may have muttered that once during a sleepy haze. How long can this go on?????? I had to call in for work today b/c I’m so exhausted!
You know…all my “Nanny” show watching I’ve done…There’s the one thing I became convinced worked : Putting him back in his bed consistently…I would really suggest doing it before the new baby gets here…because it may become difficult once he ses him/her….
Establish a bed time…let him see the time (like a post it on the fridge)…then if he leaves his bed…you have to march him right back in there….After a few nights it usually works….I did it with the twins….and I’m glad…cause a family bed with 2 …5 foot 9 year olds… will be too much for me in 2 years….I got them out of the habit at about 4 years old….it will be a lotta of crying and gnashing of teeth…but it’ll be good for him….I know you tired mama…but you’ll feel better when you can sleep through the night…dry LOL
Just jokes…
Comment by DJ Diva — February 27, 2006 @ 5:07p
I had a family bed with J for a LONG TIME. She would go to sleep just fine in her bed at bedtime but she would wake up in the middle of the night everynight to come on the ned with us.
When we moved and she got her big girl bed I decided it was time to stop this. I took a week off to get the house in order and everytime she woke up and called for me I would go into her room give her kisses and stay for a few minutes. After that week when I went back to work she was in her bed all night long and has been ever since!
It did help me that she doesn’t get out of her bed. She just calls me if it’s the middle of the night!
Good Luck!
Comment by Brandi — February 28, 2006 @ 4:33p
Poor, tired Safa,
The Lady DJ is right…the only way to deal with this situation is to stop it now. It is also critical to handle it before the baby comes to avoid having your son resent the baby because he believes the baby to be the reason he can no longer stay in your bed. It’s amazing how kids connect dots that don’t necessarily form a picture.
I know you’re tired, so this may be a job for the “old elbow in hubby’s ribs” to wake him so that he can transport Jr. back to bed. As many kids take “re-direction” more seriously when it comes from Daddy, this might work!
When my son was his age, we went through this and what I did was to start calling 8PM (his bedtime) “MOMMYTIME!”. I showed him on a digital clock what 8:00 looked like and when that time came each evening I would get him ready for bed humming the tune to MC Hammer’s “Hammer Time” and replace the lyric with Mommy Time…If he got up in the middle of the night, I took him back to his room and told him he could sleep with me only on special days like his B-day because bedtime is Mommy Time. Sounds dopey, but it worked. To this day, my son when talking to me calls 8 o’clock Mommy Time…Best of luck!
Comment by Sharon — February 28, 2006 @ 4:40p
I agree with Diva. Only 1 thing..maybe he is afraid! My son..(now 10 and in my bed more often than not)..said to me..”If you were scared at night, wouldn’t you want to go find someone that you loved?” He was 4. and yeah, he got me!
I know you’re tired! And sometimes it’s easier to do nothing than to fight it! Sometimes I carry my son back to bed 5 times per night. One night he yelled..”WHY DO YOU KEEP MOVING ME?” ~LOL~
Just be consistant in whatever method you try!
Good Luck!
THAT WOULD HAVE GOT ME TOO! SOMETIMES I THINK I SHOULD JUST “LET IT GO” AND SAVE MYSELF THE HEADACHE. IT WOULDN’T BE SO BAD IF HE SNUCK IN AND FELL ASLEEP. THIS BOY ANNOUNCES HIMSELF, FIGHTS OVER PILLOW SPACE, WANTS TO ADJUST THE BLANKET:PERSON RATIO, ETC…
Comment by Brenda — March 1, 2006 @ 6:52p
i’m definitely with dj diva on this one. best to establish the boundaries and stick to them. if that means that for the next couple of weeks you’re taking him back to his bed, then it has to be done, but it’ll pay off in the end. i also agree you should do it before the baby gets here so he won’t connect one action to the other. good luck, sista.
Comment by indigo trails — March 1, 2006 @ 1:34p
I agree with the other commenters….If you cannot have him come to bed once the baby gets here, you need to establish that now. If not he may have resentment towards the baby (there is bound to be a little jealousy anyway).
Being pregnant is exhausting…It usually only takes a week to break a habit! Good Luck!!!
chelle
Comment by chelle — March 1, 2006 @ 4:23p
I have always had a “family Bed” even now that their father is no longer around its still a family bed. My youngest is the hardest to break of this. Sometimes she will sleep in her bed and then other times she just wont have it. She too is scared and has nightmares. She seems to frequent my bed more often when she is having these spells of bad dreams- so once that happens I just tel her everynight before she gose to bed “Do not get out of your bed - your a big girl and you have to trust that mommy will never let anything happen to you while your sleeping - its safe I promise.” It has been working for the past couple of days. I also used to do the monitor thing and if she was scared I told her to just call me and I would hear her and I would come to her - still sticking with the “dont get out of your bed” theme. Its a hard thing to do and even hard to convince them to stay in the bed. She still comes in my bed sometimes when the nightmares are bad but its getting better.
I hope that helped in some way. Good Luck.
Comment by Rhonda — March 2, 2006 @ 3:01p
i missed this one last night! ok i never had this problem because i told my kids when the got their big beds that they were big kids now and they liked the thought of that. what kind of bed does he have? my son had a toddler bed that he didn’t like sleeping in. i skipped the toddler beds with my girls and went striagt for the twin. but if i did have this problem i would ask him why he was afraid then explain to him that he has to be a big boy and stay in his own bed because mommy needs her sleep. when my daughter was scared i read her a Veggie Tlaes book about the boogie man not being real. i know you’re not Christian but you can find one that is appropreiate. but that worked and i had no more problems. and her sister was in the same room as she. i think its just a reason to come see mommy. but hes 4 he should be getting up that much. none of my kids get up in the middle of the night. does he have long naps during the day. keep him up more and wear his tail out. maybe that will help. sorry i couldn’t be any real help. hope things get better… i know what you mean about being really tired right now. how far along are you. i think i’m around 4 months and i’m tired when i go to sleep and when i wake up and all day long!
HE SLEEPS IN A TODDLER BED. I THINK I MAY USE A BABY MONITOR LIKE A PREVIOUS POSTER SUGGESTED AND LET HIM COMMUNICATE THAT WAY. LAST NIGHT WHEN HE CAME UP AROUND 2AM, I WALKED HIM BACK TO HIS BED BUT HE CAME BACK AROUNF 5:30AND I WAS TOO TIRED TO RESIST. WHEN I ASKED HIM WHY HE KEEPS COMING IN MY BED HE SAID BECAUSE HE LIKES ME. I AM 6 MONTHS IN THE PREGNANCY AND GETTING SLOWER AND BIGGER EACH DAY! OH, MY SON DID SAY THAT IF I BUY HIM A BIGGER BED LIKE MINE HE’LL SLEEP THERE!
Comment by Koolbreeze — March 3, 2006 @ 2:57p