OPB…and kid journals
Other Peoples’ Baggage. Why do some people push their issues on you? I have a friend (we were close years ago) who it seems for the past 2 years or so will call me out of the blue. I am initially very happy to hear from her until I realize that after all the niceties are exchanged, she delves into this monologue of her dumb man issues and then asks for my advice. I don’t mind helping a friend in need - people sometimes ask for my advice b/c of my psych background. HOWEVER, this woman gets on my nerves. I even told her that at this point in our lives (she’s 37) we really shouldn’t be having drama like we may have back in our 20s. She’s hemming an hawwing about the same guy or it may be a different guy this year…same problem. I don’t have time for it…or really care. I’m muslim so can’t get with or endorse her lifestyle anyway. I try to keep the judgements to a minimum. Aside from my religion, I’m busy! I have whining kids and crying babies in the background, trying to get dinner going, etc and she’s just draining me. Leave me alone. Even if I wasn’t married, I would hope that at this point in my life (if I hadn’t converted to Islam) I would be SOOOOOO over the whole dating/man drama. Life’s short. I guess my REAL issue is the fact that she’ll call every few days until she’s over the latest drama and gotten all I can give her. Then I don’t hear from her for 2-3 months….I now know her pattern. She’s usually “happy” in a relationship during this time.
I started keeping a journal for my boys while I was pregnant with the baby last spring. They each have their own and I will write them 1-2 pages every now and then. Usually, it’s about little cute things they did or said that day, milestones reached, and how much I love them. They are basically love letters. I need some feedback on this: should I also jot down entries on those days when they totally misbehaved and annoyed me? When my 5 year-old was off the chain and I am at my wits end? I am trying to imagine how I would feel if I read a letter from my mom that was more typical of day-to-day life. Should these journals primarily be love notes?
thats cute. i don’t think i could have kept up with 5 journals!
as far as your friend i feel the same way about my sister. i told her she was to old (30yo) to still be going though high school mess. she’ll call me and tell me how this man this week hung up on her. i’m like dang how old are we? i just tune her out now. she’ll ask me months later if i remember her telling me about some dude and i can’t lie and say yeah cause i really don’t. i tell her nope and that i just tune her out and she will laugh and keep going with her story! i’m like dang i cannot win with you. but she calls me everyday with something new. i am just thankful i don’t have to deal with the dating drama. even if i wasn’t married i still wouldn’t get caught up in it! its draining!
Comment by Koolbreeze — May 9, 2007 @ 4:37p
I love the idea of the journals, I can see keeping good and bad. Doesn’t mean just because its the bad parts that you have to view it in a negative light, just real events from their lives.
On the friend- she sounds a bit toxic. I can’t stand negative energy so I don’t think I’d bother to continue to offer advice since she obviously is not listening anyways. Some people thrive on drama and like it in their relationships, I’m not one for it though.
Comment by Yolanda — May 12, 2007 @ 5:18p
“should I also jot down entries on those days when they totally misbehaved and annoyed me?”
Definitely.
Kid’s Journal–what an awesome idea! Love notes are great, but I bet they’d appreciate reading about their not so sweet moments. Great idea. I’m going to remember to do that whenever I have kids. And speaking of kids…
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAAAAAY!
Comment by Quel — May 14, 2007 @ 3:42p
this may just be my personal preference but if you want something to give to them I would say keep it a love note tone unless it was something like he made his brother cry then hugged him. And as for the friend. I’ve been there and done that and stopped doing it. I ran across an article today that hit home too. Take a look when you get a minute: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/228216/screwed_up_people_how_not_to_be_their.html
ps. I enjoyed hearing about your first car
Comment by princessdominique — May 14, 2007 @ 7:14p
I could have wrote your entire 1st paragraph! Psych background and all!
Comment by Umm Adam — June 1, 2007 @ 11:55p