Nice Little Bows
Why do we have the need to explain the unexplainable? Human beings always must be able to wrap things up so nicely in order for us to feel comfortable. The death of He.ath Led.ger just reminded me of this again. Whenever someone dies and we can’t readily explain it, we take it upon ourselves to develop theories. It really annoys me b/c for real, we don’t know. I feel so bad for families when the media and lay persons start to dissect every part of that individual’s life. These pop psychologists then postulate and throw out opinions to support this or that.
I mean really, I have OFTEN pondered this phenomenon. Man, if the deceased could actually come back to just set the record straight…. If it was a deadly accident caused by medication interactions, what purpose does it serve to talk about his relationships and the fact that he was depressed???
I know I am ranting and most of this is purely rhetorical anyway. It just really bugs me. Even those people who say, “well nothing is substantiated, however, if we look at the interview from 1998 we saw signs…….” UGGGHH it really irks me.
Believe it or not, this is one of the reasons I keep journals to both of my children. I would hate to accidently die by drinking anti-freeze thinking it was Kool-Aide and have people think I “checked out” because…”you know, her mom was such and such” or “you know, she was never the same after her last baby was born”, or “she blogged one time about being depressed”….you get my point.
Great post. I totally feel you on that.
I think it’s cool that you journal for your kids. I’m planning to keep a journal for my child too. A friend gave me one as a baby shower gift. It’s in my hospital bag. I’m starting it from day 1.
Comment by Quel — January 25, 2008 @ 7:34p
Here, here….I second that emotion!
I mean isn’t it difficult enough to deal with a loved one’s passing and the void the absence leaves even when it is an expected death…how much more difficult it is when it is as unexpected as Heath Ledger’s death seems to have been. But nooooooooooo, let’s add injury to insult by speaking “facts” we can’t substantiate and have no chance of being able to substantiate in the future; and even if we could, how does it change anything and if not, then why does it matter?
I am a journaling fool, and I also believe in our ancestors reliance on griots and have Angie, my best friend as my son’s personal “griot-like” resource to turn to if ever I am absent from his life and he wishes to know more about who I was and what I might have thought on an issue.
SHARON I LOVE THAT IDEA. IT REMINDS OF THE MOVIE ‘THINGS TO DO IN DENVER WHEN YOU’RE DEAD’. SOMEONE HAD A COMPANY WHERE TERMINALLY ILL PEOPLE COULD BE THERE FOR THEIR CHILDREN ONCE THEY DIED. PARENTS TO BE WOULD BASICALLY TACKLE LIFE ISSUES AND PROVIDE ANSWERS/INSIGHTS. SO FOR INSTANCE, IF YOUR 17 YEAR-OLD HAD A QUESTION ABOUT DATING, THEY COULD FIND THAT TOPIC, PUSH A BUTTON AND GET ADVICE FROM THEIR DECEASED PARENT…ANYWAY, I DIGRESS. I DO LOVE YOUR GRIOT RESOURCE.
Comment by Sharon — January 25, 2008 @ 7:46p
wow…I like to think that my kids will find out a lot about me from my blog…how their mother thought…what kinds of things she liked etc.
Comment by DJ Diva — January 25, 2008 @ 9:01p
I completely agree with you about Heath. No one needs to go searching through his life to find reasons for his death. He died. It’s tragic. Let his family and friends mourn him and find their own peace with it. It makes me so uncomfortable to see his face plastered all over newspapers and the TV because it seems so greatly disrespectful. He should be left to rest and make his own way. I say a silent prayer when I see articles about him that he’s where he needs to be and his family will be OK. Seems much more productive than obesessing about his manner of death.
Comment by Melissa — January 27, 2008 @ 6:18p
Love the idea…
I’ll keep you posted
Comment by G. Cornelius — January 27, 2008 @ 9:02p
I think a journal from a mother to her kids gives that child so much insight into that parent, as well as themselves.
Comment by Nikki — January 28, 2008 @ 4:37p
Thanks for the comment! Your on my roll as well
Comment by Muslim007 — February 8, 2008 @ 3:45p