Safa means tranquil, serene, calm…I try

My kids are planning and building a resistance movement right under my nose and I don’t think I can fight it! Mom’s all-time comeback of “cuz I said so” isn’t cutting it this time. My 7 year-old started it, but my almost 3 year-old seems to be the ring leader now. I can’t say I blame them but I’m the boss and I make the rules…right? I mean if I concede to their demands it will throw off the whole system won’t it?

Bedtime does not work for them anymore…not when they can still see rays of sun peeking through the blinds from their bed. Bedtime does not work for them if they can hear little Miguel ringing the bell on his bike up the block. Bedtime does not work for them anymore just because I tell them it is so.

Lately I have been feeling so consumed with everything except myself. I feel like I’ve been living just to maintaineveryday…ya know, make sure the kids are put together, house is clean, clothes are prepared for school, work stuff is straight, etc. My hair looks a hot mess, jilbabs (over garments) are wrinkled and tattered, pedicure needed, etc. I feel somewhat like I have not been living just kind of floating making sure the seams of my world are not frayed that I don’t have time for anything else. Hubby helps with cooking and folding clothes at times but I still feel like I’m carrying such a burden and neglecting myself. The problem is, if I had time, I feel I’ve lost of motivation to actually DO anything about it. I get out to Starbucks a few times a week when I get the kids down and am able to read a few pages of a book while drinking a bev…but that’s it. I don’t know. I am sure it’s cyclical depression but knowing the cause doesn’t make the feelings any less ya know?