Safa means tranquil, serene, calm…I try

I am so peeved. My son’s school is having their annual end-of-school function. Although he is not graduating, his 2nd grade class is doing some play and insha’Allah my son will receive recognition for winning a Quran competition. Anyway, they sent home a note Tuesday letting us know that the function is this Friday between 5-8pm. Now…I will not even get into the fact that for a school of less than 200 kids, 3 hours is waaay too long on Friday. Masha’Allah, it’s for the kids and they really work hard for these things. However, there was a request directive, that “in order to keep the event serious and calm, no kids under 6 should come if they are not students of the school”…huh? Don’t get me wrong, I understand the sentiment behind the request, but huh? Of course I’m acting indign’t because I have a 3 year-old who will be there. I mean really! You’re a school for goodness sakes. Just make an announcement for parents to walk out for a bit if your kids gets too loud.

I went to public schools growing up and if you did as well you know that school functions can be trflin’ when parents bring loud screaming babies. Those w/ sense will usually walk out. I am just shocked that a principal will tell parents to leave younger kids home. I don’t know, like I said, I have a dime in this quarter so maybe I’m just taking this too personally.

The last time hubby and I had a date night, it was at p.fc.hangs. We challenged one another to see who could go the longest without bringing up our children. I believe I was able to go longer. If you read articles or books about how to add spice to your relationship by these pop psychologists and relationship “experts”, they will all say

have a date night and don’t mention or discuss your children…reconnect with each other…

I can definitely understand the sentiment behind statements like that. I was the loudest sistah in among my friends saying, “we were a couple BEFORE the kids”, and “insha’Allah we will be old, crusty, and alone when they leave us to start their own lives”!!

I’ve since had a change of view. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel it’s important to have a fulfilling relationship with your spouse and continue to learn about/from each other and grow together. However, I don’t think it’s ok to leave the kids at the door…even when you are on a “date”. I mean if your conversation naturally flows away from the topic of kids, fine. I just think we shouldn’t pressure ourselves to omit our children by thinking this will be what ignites our passions. Our children are a significant part of our lives and most of our movement and decisions are related to the children.

Think about it, if you are a parent, do talking about your kids to your bffs affect your friendship? I guess sometimes it may if the other person is not a parent or if you go on and on. But you see what I’m saying.

If you are trying to recapture a natural affection for your loved one, find commom ground…just like you did when you first met. After children enter your lives, THEY are your common ground…it’s unnatural to act otherwise.