Safa means tranquil, serene, calm…I try

I feel like I am caught in the middle…I really am not but that’s how I feel. I have a family member who is addicted to prescription drugs and alcohol. There is a young child in the home. This same family member just finished being from under CPS investigation and had to go to rehab. As soon as the case was closed, back to the substances. I understand that there is some depression and/or bipolar but this person is old enough to know how to find a professional for help.

The problem is this person does not know I am aware of what’s going on. Another family member told me. If I directly confront my relative it will be obvious who told me - that would create a mountain of turmoil. On the other hand, I feel like calling the old CPS worker but that might make matters worse. The child is not being mistreated as far as I can tell, it’s just the idea of this person being drunk/high around the child…KNOWING what’s at stake that burns me up!

It has been a minute since I’ve visited blogland. I started school this summer!

Working on a doctorate (in public administration, still working fulltime, and being a mom/wife has really kept me uber busy the past few months. But you know what? I am loving EVERY minute of it

I will be catching up with you guys over the weekend as I have missed your posts….

My kids are planning and building a resistance movement right under my nose and I don’t think I can fight it! Mom’s all-time comeback of “cuz I said so” isn’t cutting it this time. My 7 year-old started it, but my almost 3 year-old seems to be the ring leader now. I can’t say I blame them but I’m the boss and I make the rules…right? I mean if I concede to their demands it will throw off the whole system won’t it?

Bedtime does not work for them anymore…not when they can still see rays of sun peeking through the blinds from their bed. Bedtime does not work for them if they can hear little Miguel ringing the bell on his bike up the block. Bedtime does not work for them anymore just because I tell them it is so.

It’s been a minute. I didn’t realize it had been so long! Life has just taken the lead… Here are some random things that come to mind:

-My 2 year-old thinks EVERY black male with a tie is Bara.k Obam.a. We will be on line at Target and he will ask, “ru barak obaaaaammaaa huh are you are you”?

- My 6 year-old just made white belt. I am so proud of him.

-fac.e.book has finally wrapped it’s tenacles around me…and this is so high school but, if we were not friends or even had beef in school, please don’t friend request me..uughhh I do not forget. I find human behavior so interesting, you can see how this vehicle is giving people a 2nd chance to be part of “in-crowd”. Really weird.

-hgtv has REALLY sucked me in. I am so pressed now that we own a home that I am actually planning to construct a pond in my backyard next year….no, if you saw our yard and house you would really give me the **side-eye**

-With the nice weather this weekend, you’da thought we were actually ON the equator based on the less is more dress code around town.

- We are planning to go camping next month insha’Allah…in cabins not tents! I am actually looking forward to it. My sister is planning to come with her boys.

What’s new w/ you guys?…never mind, I’ll see for myself

My 6-year told me I should have a 3rd child so someone else can scratch my back for a change! I am about to put him O-U-T!!!

I mean, who does this kid think he is? After the miracle of childbirth and that whole unconditional love thing, doesn’t he know that resident back scratcher, remote finder, and cup reacher are THE #1 reasons that he even lives with me????

I need to take him out of that fancy private school….what ideas they must be putting in his head.

Friday night I was driving from my kid sister’s house in SoufEast DC. I was enjoying the fact that the kids were spending the night and I could go to S.tarbucks and just have a night of peace and quiet. I’m driving along Minnesota Ave. and out of nowhere loud police sirens and lights are on my tail! I quickly move to the side to let the car go past only to see that they were in pursuit of me. I sit there trying to figure out what I did..run a light, speed, etc?? No, not that I could recall. I honestly hadn’t driven long enough to gain any real momentum.

Anyway, while Officer Friendly is telling why I was pulled over, his sidekick is highbeaming a flashlight through the passenger side window… Why did they pull me over??? Oh, but wait, along with that car, ANOTHER cop car pulls behind that one! So I have two cop cars with flashing lights and about 4 cops on the scene.

I had a headlight out. No really, that was it. I have fog lights at the bottom that were on, plus the right head light. Anyway ok, I guess technically that’s probable cause. I hand over my documents while they go back to run my info….it took a loooooong time. I know that they checked if I had a criminal record, outstanding warrants, unpaid tickets or overdue library books in all 50 states, Antiqua and El Salvador !

He came back to say that I wasn’t getting a ticket or anything just a warning and some extra paperwork for him. He was nice with an undercurrent of pissed that he wasn’t going to be able to use that new choke hold technique he learned earlier that week. How did my evening end you ask?

Well, after being gawked at by the fine residents of the Pennsylvania and Minnesota Ave. corridor while sitting in my vehicle, I am sad to say that I did not make it back to VA in time to enjoy a chai latte at my neighborhood Star.bucks. Instead I enjoyed settled for flavored coffee from the new line of Mc.Donald’s hot cafe beverages…it actually wasn’t that bad. But enjoying my new book under the harsh florescent asphalt lot of Mi.ckey Ds can’t possibly compare to sitting in a soft winged back chair at my Starb.ucks.

The other evening I was at the local supermarket. It was late and not too many people were there. Two store employees were chatting in the bread aisle about the recent election of the new president. They were older african-american men who appeared to be in their fifties. I was browsing on the opposite side of a display area so I heard them but they didn’t see me.

I initially thought they were praising the rise of the new president as they started to recount his rise from junior senator all the way to the White House. Then the conversation took a turn and they started comparing thoughts on why the new president could in fact be the anti-ch.rist….their reasons were because he has a muslim last name, he speaks really well, he has a commanding personality, he’s good looking. They postulated that he was “planted” there by the illuminati (my word not their’s). As I listened to the pair in the store, I briefly wondered if perhaps they are so leary and suspicious because the possibility of a black president is too wild to even believe without some nefarious svengali being at the root of it. Now, based on the conversation I overheard, these men were christian. But, I have heard a few muslims postulate some ideas as well. Someone said that perhaps he is really secretly muslim and after some time will address needs of muslims.

As a muslim, african-american female, I’ve heard my share of opinions on the election process and inau.guratio.n of the new president. From non-muslim family and friends to muslim friends and associates. That is not the point of this post. I think most people can appreciate the historic nature of this event. However, my experience is that people have differing views on how and why, at this point in time, it has occured. I can’t even delve into the diferring religious opinions on this topic…like, is it ok to be happy, did you even vote, is it a sin to feel vested, yada yada yada. That is for greater minds than mine to tackle LOL!

Every week I take time to leisurely drink a cup of coffee while reading the Sunday paper. I take particular care in my review of obituaries. I’m like a senior citizen like that LOL! I have lived in the DC metro area long enough that at least twice I’ve seen people that I knew. There are always interesting things to read about the life someone left behind. However, more and more I have been somewhat disgusted…well maybe that’s a bit too strong - but I have been turned off by something I notice in some obits.

I’ll give you an example of something that was in this Sunday’s obituaries. First of all, the obit was about 3 paragraphs long. The first 2 sentences talked about the birth/death dates of the deceased. The next couple of sentences described how nice she was and how she was a homemaker. The last sentence in the paragraph stated the name of her child. The next paragraph started with stating the daughter’s full married name and the fact that she was married to a US congressman. Here’s where it went sour for me. The next TWO paragraphs were basically a resume of the son-in-law’s professional and political career!!! This was not the first time I’d seen this. I even see it in wedding announcements. Usually it states the accomplishments of at least the parent (or in a deceased parent, their children)…but the son-in-law???

I think it’s cheesy and totally takes away from the person’s notice of death. It was almost like that elderly lady was being defined by the fact that her daughter married a famous politician. It really bugged me. I remember seeing one where the relatives were named and next to one relative, in parentheses, it said (yes, THAT John Smith)! First of all, it was like a 3rd cousin and it just so happened to be a famous rapper or singer, I can’t remember. I mean geesh, in death, let the deseased get top billing!

-Yesterday at work I saw a security guard opening the door to the snack room. He was turning the knob with a napkin. I didn’t think anything of it. I mean people can be hypervigilant when it comes to germs and door knobs. At the end of the day I happened to get in the elevator with this same security guard. Why main man proceeds to push the elevator button with a napkin???

Now let me say this - I don’t work in a sanitation truck. It’s an average office building. OK, that said….YOU ARE A SECURITY GUARD!!!! Why are you not just wearing gloves? It was so ridiculous looking. What are you going to do if you have to apprehend a criminal on duty?

-Sta.rbuck.s is killing me…chai tea latte is the debil for real.

-I don’t celebrate many most any traditional holidays anymore. However, that doesn’t mean that they don’t still get me feeling some kind of way. I love thanksgiving. It was the time I got together with all my family. It really started changing before I was muslim with the deaths of so many family members around the holidays. Now that my grandma is dead, I feel even more sad during this time of year. I am not sad about the 2 days off though! It will be fine insha’Allah. My son was invited to a sleep-over at a friend’s house so a few sisters will probaly congregate on Friday for a bit. Oh, and for real, I’ll still get some food from peeps in the area on Friday!

-With us buying our 1st home in September that needed some work, my husband has been channeling his inner Bob V.illa…..remind me to devote a whole post on this debacle. Anyway, my 6 year-old has been itching to help out. He was constantly getting yelled at by hubby for messing in his tools and being a general nuisance. Finally, hubby decided to buy him his own tool set. So…he purchased a whole ensemble that has EVERYTHING in it. The stuff is pretty real, just for a child. See this pic of my child as the ghetto Handy Mann.y Mind you those are his real prescription specs on his eyes. The goggles are on his hard-hat…bless his heart. You can’t see the tool belt but it loaded. Now, my 2 year-old is asking for his.