Function: noun
Etymology: French bal, from Old French, from baller to dance, from Late Latin ballare, from Greek ballizein
Date: circa 1639
1 : a large formal gathering for social dancing
This definition came from Merriam-Webster’s dictionary. I am sure you can find other definitions around. There are certain topics I choose with friends in a face:face setting. I have found issues that are controversial or particulary provocative does not generally lend itself to productive discourse on these internets. The main reason though, is that I am lazy and don’t have the time or energy to quote this text, research that hadith, notate this excerpt from that scholar’s lecture from 1995, google this phrase phishing for daleel, etc. I mean shoo, I work full time and have babies at home!
However, this is a topic I wanted to discuss on here. It started a few days before the presidential inaugurat.ion. My friend asked if I was participating in any activities since I had family coming down from NY. I told her no that the only activity I was aware of was the various balls going on. She said, “why don’t you go to the muslim ball?”. I laughed because…well, because I assumed she was making a funny. She was dead serious. My first response was “huh”. My next was a sigh (to myself) and then I said, “I guess I am not suprised”. I didn’t give this too much thought again until I came across this brother’s blog. This was a hot topic over there.
When I became muslim in 2000, my general base of knowledge and understanding of the religion was that of the salafi manhaj or ahlus sunnah wal jumaat. Most people would view this understanding as more conservative…some say extreme…whatev. Either way, it was fine with me because I tended to have an all or nothing personality….yah know, go hard or go home. I remember meeting this sister who told me that she tried that approach and she just became exhausted. I could not understand what she meant. I figured she just got tired of doing things correctly.
That was almost 9 years ago. I now understand what she meant. By that I mean that trying to be what you think is perfect and doing for the sake of doing is exhausting….no matter what the arena. As I’ve had children and matured, I find that you have to find a medium to live your life where you can function without feeling like you have to walk on egg shells to be around your own self. At the same time, you must live your life according to the path that you believe is correct…really correct, not just what you tell yourself is correct in order to sleep at night. And if when you find yourself living contrary to that, know how to repent and seek forgiveness. With all of that said….
Booooo to the Not really feeling the ball! Now please do not get me wrong. I am an african american muslimah from harlem, stayed active in the bsu on my college campus, pledged a traditional and feminine forward thinking sorority, etc. I am very interested in my place in the fabric of the society in which I live. I truly appreciate the historical significance of having President Ob.ama as the president. Don’t get it twisted. However, muslims don’t have to compromise what you know is correct just so you don’t feel marginalized in this country. I am soooooo tired of people using these excuses to justify their desires. A ball is a ball. You have a BAND playing live instruments! Even if the men and women will be separated…ok, even if that were the case, many people were on your guest list who do not subsribe to that separate thang. So all of the invited congressman/women, media folk, etc will be content to stay on the male/women only side? Come on now. Among most of my non-muslim family, co-workers, associates, etc, the MAIN thing they ALL seem to not be able to fathom is the no-mingling practice. They can’t stand it. Why have music? What was the dress attire? Why not have a dinner where these people spoke to the muslim constituency and the muslims listened to the individuals who were there speaking? I can’t answer these questions. This is just what is going through my mind. I feel like why even put yourself in a scenario of questionable behaviors? But, I am missing the main point…if you don’t find it questionable then it’s all good. One thing I no longer do is argue deen issues. I stopped that long ago. Mainly because we all have our line and I’ve learned from personal experience that the line changes from time to time. I try not to be judgemental but sometimes a thing, at least to me, is so obvious that I am truly baffled at the rationale of the party involved. I mean really, do your thing, but don’t argue and ridicule someone for pointing out flaws in your argument.
Like I said, american muslims are american and we are vested in what happens in this country. I don’t buy into the views of some that because we are muslim in a kaffir country we should have no involvement, or opinion in this process. Buss’ it, I pay taxes…I am vested as long as I live here. I won’t get into the voting thing but people have all kinds of opinions on that. My point is, a ball??? Where live music is played and women and men will mix? Please know that mixing with non-muslims of the opposite sex is not right as well. We (myself included) sometimes like to paint a narrow brush over our religious dictates. No, if you wouldn’t shake hands with a muslim man, don’t shake hands with a non-muslim man.
I guess my frustration really boils down to the fact that I feel like some muslims feel that in order to be taken seriously (ie…not extreme, intelligent, not backward) they have to conform to EVERYTHING that the non-muslims do or engage in. It reminds me, as a black women, of how some blacks would cowtow to whites just be accepted. But for real, people respect those who are geniune and live their values and beliefs. Muslims come in all shapes, colors, and sizes. Present yourself, your agenda, whatever in a way that is pleasing to Allah (swt). There are more halal things to engage in than the haraam. Let’s be creative here.
I am so peeved. My son’s school is having their annual end-of-school function. Although he is not graduating, his 2nd grade class is doing some play and insha’Allah my son will receive recognition for winning a Quran competition. Anyway, they sent home a note Tuesday letting us know that the function is this Friday between 5-8pm. Now…I will not even get into the fact that for a school of less than 200 kids, 3 hours is waaay too long on Friday. Masha’Allah, it’s for the kids and they really work hard for these things. However, there was a 
Last week our family went camping during my son’s spring break. It was me and hubby and our 2 boys in one cabin and my sister and her 2 boys in the cabin next to ours. We had a blast! We went to Y.ogi’s Jelly.stone Park in Luray VA. 
After a summer of ups, downs, and emotional changes, we moved into our new digs last Monday..a week ago today! We are happy, the kids are estatic and now the task of unpacking and decorating begin. 
from continually running around on this hamster wheel but expecting a different outcome. My son will is 21 months old so I think I should let him off the hook for my excess weight. What’s so frustrating is that I could probably write a book on weight loss! I know basically to eat less and move more. However, I am NOT doing it.
Why do we have the need to explain the unexplainable? Human beings always must be able to wrap things up so nicely in order for us to feel comfortable. The death of He.ath Led.ger just reminded me of this again. Whenever someone dies and we can’t readily explain it, we take it upon ourselves to develop theories. It really annoys me b/c for real, we don’t know. I feel so bad for families when the media and lay persons start to dissect every part of that individual’s life. These pop psychologists then postulate and throw out opinions to support this or that.
