My legs are tired…
from continually running around on this hamster wheel but expecting a different outcome. My son will is 21 months old so I think I should let him off the hook for my excess weight. What’s so frustrating is that I could probably write a book on weight loss! I know basically to eat less and move more. However, I am NOT doing it.
Over the years, I’ve been on Jen.ny Craig, LA Weigh.t Loss, Cur.ves, and most recently We.ight Watchers. I am not into fad dieting as I know they don’t work. I could easily say the probem is that I just like food. However, I know I can still like food and eat the types of food I like without ballooning out of control…but I don’t.
Ugghhh, this is so frustrating. I think I have reverse body dismorphia or something. I’ve been looking in the mirror and seeing a “voluptuous” beauty for the past year. Reality is that I am really overweight and need to “STOP THE INSANITY”….as the ’90s weight loss guru Susan P.owter used to say.
True story: My friend was over my house last year. She and I are the same age almost to the day. My son, then 5, was amazed that we were the same age. Here’s how it went:
Son: Y’all are really both 34?
Me: yes, we will both be 35 next month in February
Son: For real Miss C?
Friend: Yup
Son: OK, but actually my mom is probably older because she’s fat right?
I started crying in my heart. I remember telling my husband while I was pregnant this same child in 2002 that I didn’t want to be the mom at my son’s school that the kids said was fat. Don’t you guys remember “that” mom who came to the class and y’all laughed because Johnny’s mom was a pig? Well, I never wanted to be that mom for my children.
I’m almost to the point where I WILL start ripping out tags in my clothes so hubby won’t see what size I’m in. I always thought that once I out grew a size 12, I would just die!!!! God those were the days.
Why do we have the need to explain the unexplainable? Human beings always must be able to wrap things up so nicely in order for us to feel comfortable. The death of He.ath Led.ger just reminded me of this again. Whenever someone dies and we can’t readily explain it, we take it upon ourselves to develop theories. It really annoys me b/c for real, we don’t know. I feel so bad for families when the media and lay persons start to dissect every part of that individual’s life. These pop psychologists then postulate and throw out opinions to support this or that.
Upon reflection, where you may have thought you were being quick and clever, you were really thinking inside a box. Case in point: Once a week I work in a government building. As many of you know living in a city, parking is at a premium. Therefore, when I got to work this morning and found a spot 3-4 spaces from the front door….masha’Allah I just had to thank Allah.
I turned 35 on Friday…how did this happen???? No, it really feels like I was just 24!!! Uggghhh.
