Safa means tranquil, serene, calm…I try

-We have a DVD player in our vehicle…supposedly for the kids when we road trip. However, during our last weekend excursion, my husband sat in the middle row and basically forced my 5 year-old son and 6 year-old nephew to watch Napoleon Dyna.mite for 4 hours (even though the movie isn’t that long, my hubby has a way of rewinding a scene every 10 minutes to recapture the moment:)Needless to say I had to pull rank on the ride back!

- On same road trip, my sister sits next to me…supposedly to keep me company while I drive. hmph…if you call talking on your cell phone for 3 hours straight, then going to sleep keeping me company. That really peed me off!

- My son asked me a few weeks ago “don’t you want to be dead so you won’t have to take care of no kids”?

-A question…What’s the largest pay cut you’d take in order to do something you really enjoy…or if the job was in your neighborhood…no more interstate commutes. I’m not looking for, “oh, to do something I love, I’d do it for free”! Seriously.

-Gross alert: My hubby teased my son by telling him he had a booger in his eye. My son asked me to look. I look…no booger. He then says, “oh, mommy nevermind, it was cold not a booger cause I tasted it and it don’t taste the same”.

-I need a VACATION…SOLO I am really worn down lately.

-A friend of mine went home to her big sister’s babyshower and to meet her fiance’. After a while she realized that she’d talked to and exchanged photos with the guy on match dot com. He acted like he didn’t notice and she was just flabergasted. I think she was more stunned that he “pretended” not to remember her. I keep trying to remind her that maybe her image isn’t forever etched in the brains of every man she encounters.

Other Peoples’ Baggage. Why do some people push their issues on you? I have a friend (we were close years ago) who it seems for the past 2 years or so will call me out of the blue. I am initially very happy to hear from her until I realize that after all the niceties are exchanged, she delves into this monologue of her dumb man issues and then asks for my advice. I don’t mind helping a friend in need - people sometimes ask for my advice b/c of my psych background. HOWEVER, this woman gets on my nerves. I even told her that at this point in our lives (she’s 37) we really shouldn’t be having drama like we may have back in our 20s. She’s hemming an hawwing about the same guy or it may be a different guy this year…same problem. I don’t have time for it…or really care. I’m muslim so can’t get with or endorse her lifestyle anyway. I try to keep the judgements to a minimum. Aside from my religion, I’m busy! I have whining kids and crying babies in the background, trying to get dinner going, etc and she’s just draining me. Leave me alone. Even if I wasn’t married, I would hope that at this point in my life (if I hadn’t converted to Islam) I would be SOOOOOO over the whole dating/man drama. Life’s short. I guess my REAL issue is the fact that she’ll call every few days until she’s over the latest drama and gotten all I can give her. Then I don’t hear from her for 2-3 months….I now know her pattern. She’s usually “happy” in a relationship during this time.

I started keeping a journal for my boys while I was pregnant with the baby last spring. They each have their own and I will write them 1-2 pages every now and then. Usually, it’s about little cute things they did or said that day, milestones reached, and how much I love them. They are basically love letters. I need some feedback on this: should I also jot down entries on those days when they totally misbehaved and annoyed me? When my 5 year-old was off the chain and I am at my wits end? I am trying to imagine how I would feel if I read a letter from my mom that was more typical of day-to-day life. Should these journals primarily be love notes?

I was at a neighbor’s house the other day. I felt so violated, held captive and exhausted when I left. It all started when I asked which of her children (aged 11 and 15) looks more like which parent. Her ex is Thai and she’s black . I mention this fact only b/c she is so open about this and cooks Thai food for us, etc.
Because she is divorced, I had never met her ex. Why did I ask??? She’s like, “you’ve never seen so and so?” “well, let me show you a picture”. She pulls out one photo album and I look at it very interested.

Can you believe she made me sit there and look at 6 more albums???? I was sooooo OVER it! She didn’t take a hint after I was yawning, the baby was antsy, etc. I think this is so rude. I get it…you have friends and your kids were once adorable babies.

Why do people think you want to relive their lives through every photo they ever took?

I have a friend who got out of a horrible marriage about 7 months ago. She is young (26) and has 4 children ranging in age from 6 years down to 11 months. Her husband was abusive and an all around creep behind closed doors…everyone in the community thought he was great…at first. After a while he came undone even in the community. At first people willingly loaned/gave him money when he had a sob story about needing money to help with rent (was happening every other month). When his bad behaviors came to light, he was cut off.

Anyway, he wound up getting them evicted and she and the four kids moved in with her parents. My friend has been depressed during this time. She married at 19 and although she’s a licensed beautician, hadn’t worked since HS. She home schools and has no money! Having four kids makes it hard for her to just get a room. Plus her kids are LOUD and sometimes unruly (at least 2 of them). Anyway, her husband has started calling and making all of these promises. Y’all know where I’m going with this. Needless to say, she will most likely get back with him. Everyone thinks knows it’s a bad idea and I believe deep down she does to. However, she feels helpless and hopeless and hates being in her parents house.

Of course I am her friend and her decision won’t change that. However, I am not giving her money, etc while she’s married to that guy. There is SO MUCH behind this that I won’t get into but even w/ 4 kids people will be hard pressed to feel sympathetic to her plight this time around…knowing what we know about the situation.

I know she is only going back b/c she feels she has no choice. I feel sick b/c many abused women are scared to leave b/c they don’t know how they’ll make it on their own with the kids. However, how sad it is to finally escape only to face the fact that you really can’t make it alone and go back? How long before the crap starts back up again? Keep in mind, I am not talking about physical abuse alone. Actually that was only a small part of it. There was more mental and verbal abuse and him not taking care of her and the kids, his getting in legal trouble for disgusting things, constantly getting fired from jobs, leaving them for days without food or necessities, etc.

I feel angry that she wasn’t able to get the support she needed. She had some options but felt they weren’t right for her and the kids. So what now? She gets public assistance now and will keep it while back with him????? That just gives him more reason to loaf around. UUGGHHHHH I hate this. I don’t even want to talk to her b/c I don’t want her to feel ashamed or have to explain herself to me…I am just sad:( I know how I am. If, a year from now she starts complaining about the same crap again…I don’t know what I’ll say to her. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.